tried to explain to the seven year old i babysit that being immortal would actually be awful because eventually everyone you know would die and you would be alone and he was like “good”
I JUST WENT TO GO BRUSH MY TEETH AND MY SINK IS GONE
LIKE MY SINK IS NO LONGER IN MY BATHROOM
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING SINCE WHEN DID I BECOME A SIM
NO IM FUCKING SERIOUS GUYS
MY SINK IS GONE
you may want to have a chat with your server player
HARRY POTTER FANS, YOUR LETTERS ARE STILL OUT THERE. HAVE FAITH!
If I had to define hope to someone, I would show them this post.
if opposites attract why aren’t hot people attracted to me
The obvious logic here is that you’re hot.
That’s the most encouraging thing I’ve ever heard.
|mom:||ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk|
|me:||mom where are you please|
|me:||mom please the line is moving fast|
|me:||mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn|
one time at my school people were making anti-drug posters and one of them literally just said “don’t meth”
thats what happens when you meth around with drugs
did you just make a meth pun
no he has a lisp
when I publish my novel I want you all to swear to me that you’re going to write uncomfortably erotic fic about characters I didn’t intend to have sexual tension
swear to me
My vows are going to be, “I hate almost everything in the world, but you are that one thing that I can kind of tolerate.”